Love is an elusive state of mind

elizabethroz @ 2006-02-19T18:37:00

2006-02-20T00:40:40Z

I have a Bachelor's in Glorious Comebacks. From Tu Madre Tech.

Spice up your life

2005-10-15T22:21:59Z

THIS MORNING: the Arts Festival at the Gopher/Warrior Bowl. AP Art only sold a few pumpkins but overall it was still a success, and lots of fun to be able to hang out with everyone all day. We found out that Ms. Hagle IS divorced, and a man talked about buying one of my graphite pieces, but I don't know how that will work out. I'll post some pictures sometime soon.

THIS AFTERNOON: performing at the festival with band, painting Ana's face, feeling good about showing Daniel and Brandon my artwork. My dad was acting strangely, as in

DAD: I'm thinking about getting a dog.
ME: Why would you want a dog?
DAD: So he could shit in my yard?

and

ME: Stop making noises, you sound like you're on drugs.
DAD: No, I'm just stupid.

TONIGHT: par-tay at Ashley's, where we will decide how we intend to be the Spice Girls for Halloween. I think it'd be better if we made up our own Spice names to fit our personalities, like I am doing with my art friends. I will be Instigatah Spice until I hear a better idea.

soup du jour

2005-10-06T01:12:27Z

TODAY IN A NUTSHELL

She cut the slant off. All in all it's plain but I won't feel stupid growing it out, like I would have with that severely chopped haircut. This is the best comment yet:

PERRYMAN: What's ironic is that there are middle-aged women paying hundreds of dollars to fill their hair with chemicals to get it to look like yours. And you're in some dimly lit bathroom, having a seventeen-year-old art student hack at it with dull scissors.
ME: The scissors were sharp, sir.

In art, Cameron's eye started itching while he was working on the potter's wheel, so he screamed across the room for me to come scratch it for him. It was cute as hell.

In second period French I laughed until I couldn't breathe. Ma-damn Allen looks like a giant tootsie roll. Today we noticed that her ankles bulged down over her shoes.

DANIEL: I keep trying to make things as awkward as possible when I'm with Brandon and Courtney, so they'll break up.
ME: I offered him three dollars to break up with her and he didn't do it.
DANIEL: He passed up three dollars? Really?

My parents's new tactic for taking care of me is an elaborately contrived schedule of how they will have complete supervision over me from the moment they pick me up from school until the moment I go to sleep. I'm not a bad kid. I don't give them attitude or curse or smoke anything. I think that since Amy's gone they have no idea what to do with me and are just winging it.

I have Pepsi, new contacts and, unfortunately, homework. OUT.

elizabethroz @ 2005-10-02T21:38:00

2005-10-03T04:55:34Z

Yesterday was asleia's eighteenth birthday. Happy birthday, love! It was also my half-birthday. I think it's funny that we're exactly six months apart.

From the looks of things, my mother is either drunk or has decided not to bother with separating colors in the wash. Both of those sound so bizarre that I'm not sure which to believe.

elizabethroz @ 2005-09-25T19:21:00

2005-09-26T00:18:01Z

Just thought I'd let you know.

is alive

2005-08-30T03:58:42Z

Here's the loot I pulled at Meet The Teacher Night (yes, my parents are MTTN junkies):

Hagle (Art) thinks I could actually get into an art institute if I worked and wanted it badly enough,
Allen (French) thinks I'm wayward but "brilliant" (wrong),
Lonergan (Animations) thinks I'm the only kid who gets his jokes,
Perryman (AcaDec) thinks I could kill a man and he'd pay to have me smuggled across or possibly out of the United States,
and Jackson (Band) thinks that if I dropped dead, he could use my festering corpse as an example of a band student who did not strive to reach her potential.

Can't ask for more than that, right?

Here, Alex, I made this for you in ISS Friday. It's me, in solitary confinement. I would have drawn someone else, but, you know, there was no one else around. All I had was a mechanical pencil, a little hand mirror, and crappy yellow paper. They don't give you good paper in jail.

(<---click)

It looks unfinished because I only drew one eye. My bangs kept falling in front of it, and I figured looking like a cyclops was better than looking too emo.

Emo kids get beat up, you know.

Spite? Moi?

2005-08-25T23:21:37Z

In school suspension is SO FUN. I would have gotten it YEARS ago if I'd had any idea how much better it is than regular school. Yesterday I wrote something like this for the lame packet they have us complete to demonstrate our remorse:

On Truancy

Consistent school attendance is important because the school recieves money from the government based on the number of students in attendance. This money can be used to buy new football uniforms. Furthermore, low attendance makes the school appear as though they cannot control their students, blackening the reputation of the school nationwide. As well, TAKS scores fall when students are not in their learning environment on a regular basis. Alltogether, truancy is illegal because it costs the school funding and social standing. Meanwhile, money and politics make our capitalistic society go 'round.

Today I find out that the principal will read and grade these assignments. If I don't hear back from Bridges on this one, I will be severely disappointed.

LA

2005-08-25T01:51:05Z

If I had to pick one of my teachers to eat, I'd choose Madame Allen, because she is HUGE and buttery. This is written in my French notebook. As you may have guessed, there are not actual French notes in my French notebook.

For a long time I wasn't sure if Ms. Hagle never talked to me or cared what I was doing because she found me so repulsive that it didn't matter, or if she liked me so much that she trusted me to be doing the right thing well. Yesterday I discovered that she actually does like me quite a bit, apparently, and then I didn't have backbone enough to tell her that I was sentenced to ISS for the rest of the week for skipping school. It would probably bring up memories of two years ago, when I went to Starbucks with Lauren Smith instead of, you know, art class.

My sister moved into her dormitory today. People keep asking me if I miss her. She's been gone about ten hours. For the record: no.

elizabethroz @ 2005-08-19T15:41:00

2005-08-19T20:46:45Z

If there's a bright centre to the universe, I'm on the planet that it's farthest from.
Now I'm not just the lamest Star Wars nerd ever. I'm lame and pissed. I'm lame and on a mission.

I'm going to the Germanys' tonight, so that will make me feel a little better.

elizabethroz @ 2005-08-16T16:05:00

2005-08-16T21:16:33Z

I wonder how much trouble I would get into if, when my ugly French teacher asks something dumb like, "Qu'est-ce que tu prends pour le petit dejeuner?" I just stood up and yelled

"TA MÈRE...!"

Because I don't know how to answer that question correctly, I haven't bothered to learn the breakfast vocabulary.

This morning in Art a huge lock of my hair got sucked into the electric eraser. I got out okay but I think Ray was laughing at me. Clearly I am the smartest person EVER.

elizabethroz @ 2005-08-06T21:58:00

2005-08-07T03:25:10Z

Alex bought me Upbeats and Beatdowns because he saw it at the store and knew it was the only Five Iron Frenzy CD I didn't already own. I guess now the odds that I'll keep listening to tasteful music are pretty low, but in the meantime...

I have a cool boyfriend, kids. I'll remember that the next time he does something really stupid.

elizabethroz @ 2005-07-20T14:12:00

2005-07-20T20:14:27Z

Your Power Color Is Indigo

At Your Highest:
You are on a fast track to success - and others believe in you.
At Your Lowest:
You require a lot of attention and praise.
In Love:
You see people as how you want them to be, not as how they are.
How You're Attractive:
You're dramatic flair makes others see you as mysterious and romantic.
Your Eternal Question:
"Does This Work Into My Future Plans?"

What's Your Power Color?

Here's my AP English Literature score: 5

Here's me as a doll:

Here's the end of a pointless entry:

Coffee Was Made for Nights Like This

2005-07-10T07:30:52Z

My parents paid way too much money to have these photos of me taken.

I feel like a loser for posting pictures of myself. Umm whatever.

The only thing I've really been listening to lately is Elliott Smith, which is so relaxing and rather depressing. What a fabulous balance. I'm in an awful state, though. I need more hobbies.

Should I go to sleep now, then? I am exhausted, but something tells me this is one of those nights I'll get to study my ceiling for hours. :\

Three AM!

2005-07-06T08:00:37Z

I am so hyper that I can't sleep. I could do worse things than update my ugly journal.

Here's dinnertime conversation for you --

DAD: I'd definitely consider myself the black sheep of my family -- is it the same with you?
ALEX: Well, nobody else in my family has a criminal record, I can tell you that.
ME: May I please borrow a pen, to write my suicide note with?
DAD: ...It's good that you're...honest.

Actually, Alex did not blow the audition. My dad is really good at interrogating people, and by 'good' I mean I think it's bad that he does.

Why is it that you see so many gangstas -- without "r"s -- around? I think there should be a few with two "r"s just to pick up the slack. I mean, I could do it. I have some extra time on my hands this summer. Etc.

While we were on vacation I drew this picture of Nick that looked very good, but I suppose it won't be scanned because I gave it to his mom. All of my rabid fans: sigh in remorse, on cue, please.

How many games of "Minesweeper" does it take to get to the center of an insomniac? I can tell you: twenty-seven.

So goodnight.

forgot to say

2005-06-03T01:51:52Z

Suck Ass Test scores -

Critical Reading: 800/800
Math: 630/800
Writing: 750/800
Multiple choice: 71/80
Essay: 12/12

If I grow up, I want to be a writer.

elizabethroz @ 2005-06-02T19:25:00

2005-06-03T01:30:41Z

To demonstrate how emotionally unstable I've been for the past month-and-a-half, I give you this example:

Yesterday Christa gave me an Oatmeal Cream Pie, and it significantly improved my quality of life.

No, really, that was the best part of my week. Hands down.

You're shocked that I remember how to type, right?

2005-05-13T00:21:11Z

ME: "When your parents adopt your sister, you, Nick and I should take her into the wild and raise her as our own. And by 'the wild' I mean the parking lot of Tom Thumb. And by 'raise her' I mean leave her there to test her homing instict. You need a kid with a good sense of direction."
ALEX: "What you just said was so beautiful it makes the Constitution look like crap."

Yesterday my mother made pancakes, eggs, and bacon for dinner because she misses them. My sister has been living at my dad's house and when I'm the only one there in the morning, breakfast is overlooked. I can't bear to think of what it will be like when Amy's gone for college for a year and it's just the two of us -- I foresee take-out cartons and pizza boxes littering the kitchen.

Meanwhile, it is a testament to my resourcefulness that I intend to donate blood plasma on May 19th. They do those blood drives at school -- apparently all you need to qualify is 115 pounds, 17 years, and no fear of sharp objects. But the point is that it's the morning after I'll have stayed up all night watching "Star Wars" as only beautiful geeks can, and there's nothing like missing four hours of school to sleep and shiver as stale cold blood is pumped through your body a second time, right?

ME: "I'm donating plasma! Celebrate my ingenuity!"
MOM: "They might refuse your blood if you don't have a high enough iron count."
ME: "WHAT? But I'm gorgeous!"
MOM: "I don't think they intend to clone you with it, sweetie."

Okay. I'm out. I leave you with a slightly sour aftertaste and: my new favorite Franklin quote of all time.

elizabethroz @ 2005-04-23T17:23:00

2005-04-23T23:23:59Z

So I am a terrible person who does terrible things, as my track record tells me. Well. I wonder what I can do about that.

In interim, I suggest you all stop answering my phone calls and smiling at me in the hallway, so as not to encourage anything.

i'm writing the the world hate-mail

2005-03-30T03:19:09Z

And look! An autobiography!

P. S. bishopcmb says SaveToby! was a hoax. Rabbit-lovers everywhere breathe a sigh of relief.

blah

2005-03-28T05:34:51Z

When I first heard that some guy is threatening to eat his pet rabbit if people don't give him fifty thousand dollars, I mocked the idiocy of the people actually giving him money. But now that I've thought the situation through, I realize that their idiocy is exactly the point. I'm still not going to send him money, but I might e-mail a recipie or perhaps a new Save Toby t-shirt design.

Meanwhile. IT IS MY BIRTHDAY ON FRIDAY. Congratulate me on making it this far.

La la la

2005-03-18T18:54:20Z

Here's a story I wrote for Creative Writing class. I think it is the pinnacle of literary success.

Once upon a time there was a magic pebble that had been abandoned at the bottom of a deep, dark well. As legend told it, a mad old wizard living in the mountains had placed it there for the sake of situational irony. The pebble was to become the weapon and tool of the mythical figure that would someday appear to save the world.

Aside from a formidable magical prowess and ability to grant wishes, this particular pebble was as smooth and hard as glass and as green as a dragon’s eye. It sparkled with the light of a thousand stars at the bottom of the well, shimmering by the sunlight lancing down to the darkest recesses of the pool. Loneliness seeped down through those waters as years, decades, and centuries wore on, and the pebble became all but forgotten beneath memories of hope and the well’s quiet waters.

Unfortunately, its beauty eventually became its downfall as it was unearthed by pro-industrial capitalist assholes and sold to be set into commercial jewelry for personal gain.

It was a sad day for the magic pebble.

The End.

tomorrow I shall attack my dentist with her perverse little tooth drill

2004-07-06T19:04:44Z

Why does my dentist have my cell phone number?

No, really. I want to know. Someone explain to me why I am awakened by the ringing of Raul the Cell Phone to hear, "Hey, Heidi, we're cleaning your teeth tomorrow, don't forget!" in the falsely-peppy voice of a nurse-secretary who hates her job and doesn't give a crap about the lovely dream she's interrupted.

Or maybe I'm bitter?

And it serves me right for sleeping in till ten-thirty, I suppose, when normal people are already up and about.

*yawns*

Pointless post, I bet you all hate me now. Watch me not care at the speed of light.

I'm Back, By The Way

2004-04-20T03:33:54Z

Finding half a snake skin on your bedroom floor = worthless

Owning a cat = ...

...Nevermind, that's also worthless.

ETA: Preliminary investigations were incorrect; further exploration of the site reveals it to be a whole snake, in a whole snake skin. My bad.

Don't Do Drugs!

2004-03-23T23:33:38Z

One time, I heard a story about a company who passed out pencils bearing the phrase: "Don't Do Drugs!" to a group of elementary school children.

The children used the pencils; sharpening them made them shorter, slashing the message down to, "Do Drugs!" and then eventually, "Drugs!"

Just thought I'd share.

I <3 Mortimor! Liek OMG!!1!

2004-03-15T01:59:59Z

Nothing is happening. It's comfortable.

MOTHER: Thanks to God and child support, I can put money in your college fund.
ME: And meanwhile, you have such a way with words.

Has anyone read, Redwall? I'm rediscovering it; last I read it was in middle school. I'm about half-way through, and they've just realised that Matthias is a reincarnation of Martin the Warrior and they're looking for the sword on the Abbey roof.

I'm thinking about fangirling Abbot Mortimor.